Post by verifiedmara on Sept 20, 2022 16:25:48 GMT -5
I'm sorry
I'M sorry
No, no, I'm SORRY
I can never find the right way to say it
It never sounds good enough anymore once you're saying it so often
Like you're apologizing for your existence whenever you accidentally bump into someone
Or whenever you take the last cookie when someone else is reaching for it
I guess at times like those it seems almost as genuine as when I'm pleading to not be hit by you when you're filled with rage
Or when you don't hesitate to let me know how much of a bitch I am for not laughing at your joke I didn't find funny
Your sweet "I'm in love with you" act that you turn on for our friends and your family turns cold quick like running hot water for too long
Letting the comfortability disappear from us instead of rushing out of the cold
Turning the temperature up hotter and hotter so we can make this last because we were all we had
We only have ourselves to blame for getting here
Well... I do anyways
I saw everything when it started to turn sour and I still said nothing
I pretended to like the flavor and kept a smile on my face
Not realizing I was making myself smaller and smaller so I could give you more room to live in this space before we realized we failed
Anyway, all of this to say
I'm sorry
I'm sorry I didn't tell you "I love you" enough times when you needed to hear it the most
I'm sorry I didn't have enough courage to say what needed to be said when we were both too afraid to say anything
I'm sorry I didn't know how to help you in the ways you needed me to when your mother died
I'm sorry I was always bothering you when I was just trying to help in the best ways I could
I'm sorry for being depressed and not realizing it because I was so distracted by trying to not make you angry
I'm sorry I wasn't what you needed and that I couldn't understand I never would be
Erasing myself in the process so you could make me someone I wasn't
I'm sorry we didn't have enough time to fix it
But most of all, I'm sorry that despite all of our arguments and anger towards each other
I'll never get my best friend back in the same way again
I'm sorry.
I'M sorry
No, no, I'm SORRY
I can never find the right way to say it
It never sounds good enough anymore once you're saying it so often
Like you're apologizing for your existence whenever you accidentally bump into someone
Or whenever you take the last cookie when someone else is reaching for it
I guess at times like those it seems almost as genuine as when I'm pleading to not be hit by you when you're filled with rage
Or when you don't hesitate to let me know how much of a bitch I am for not laughing at your joke I didn't find funny
Your sweet "I'm in love with you" act that you turn on for our friends and your family turns cold quick like running hot water for too long
Letting the comfortability disappear from us instead of rushing out of the cold
Turning the temperature up hotter and hotter so we can make this last because we were all we had
We only have ourselves to blame for getting here
Well... I do anyways
I saw everything when it started to turn sour and I still said nothing
I pretended to like the flavor and kept a smile on my face
Not realizing I was making myself smaller and smaller so I could give you more room to live in this space before we realized we failed
Anyway, all of this to say
I'm sorry
I'm sorry I didn't tell you "I love you" enough times when you needed to hear it the most
I'm sorry I didn't have enough courage to say what needed to be said when we were both too afraid to say anything
I'm sorry I didn't know how to help you in the ways you needed me to when your mother died
I'm sorry I was always bothering you when I was just trying to help in the best ways I could
I'm sorry for being depressed and not realizing it because I was so distracted by trying to not make you angry
I'm sorry I wasn't what you needed and that I couldn't understand I never would be
Erasing myself in the process so you could make me someone I wasn't
I'm sorry we didn't have enough time to fix it
But most of all, I'm sorry that despite all of our arguments and anger towards each other
I'll never get my best friend back in the same way again
I'm sorry.