Role Models

[untitled]

I have never had a role model.





Don’t take this the wrong way mom, but you let dad walk over you for far too long for me to say that you had any kind of input during my teen years.



I needed you.



Dad, you tried. God love you, you tried. Maybe I was too sensitive,

Or

Maybe

your yelling just hurt that much.



Older sister,

your self-harm and depression not only stole your joy

but sucked my innocence and stole mine as well.

I hated seeing you hazed on pills

Seeing dry crusted blood on the bathroom floor knowing if I asked you would lash out with anger towards me.



I fell into depression too.



I will never tell you that.



Political figures,

You lie.

Over

And

Over.

But I lie too.



People on screen,

You have too many eyes on you,

So much pressure to be perfect,



I won’t add more.





Characters in books,



You are not real,

In no way shape or form can I value a character when it never existed,

but something of imagination created by a flawed mind just like mine.



Who is left?



Without a doubt they have fault and don’t say God.

Please don’t.



I love God and accept Christ as my Savior, but to call him a role model is to undermine his power,



To strip him of his true glory.

He was not sent to be looked up to.

He was perfect.

I am not.



I am not without transgression,

But alike with all the others above,

I am loved and give love freely.

Something far greater and more powerful than a simple title.

Something real.