Post by pharaoh1992 on Mar 15, 2014 23:18:28 GMT -5
I sit here listening to some of the most beautiful trance music that my ears have been exposed to. It puts me in a contemplative state of mind, but, with this sense of bliss and calmness. I can think and wonder of the transpired events that have come to fruition in my Life. I have really been dealt a hand that has pushed me to my limits in the following facets: mental, physical, emotional, and the once shuned spiritual facet that I didn't bind my Existence with because it didn't make sense back then. Mental to the point where I pondered doing the unthinkable and I best not reveal what that would have been. Physical to the extent where I doubted and was self-conscious of the vessel I was handed by the Universe. Emotional where I let my feelings run my cognitive process and clouded my rational analysis of conducting my daily activities of life. Finally, Spiritual to where I almost lost who I was. I. Not anyone else. Not even my split personalities. The core. It was almost compromised.
So, with that in mind, why did I mention all of the latter if I'm supposed to be calm and feeling bliss by this melodic trance I'm in? I am in a trance, flowing, liberated of any worries that I may have had of what people think of me. Those who are meaningful, genuine, have a sense of loyality to the concept of friendship, and various factors that attribute to the characteristic of truth, will have any impact of what they think of you. Friends, legitimate ones, and family are the only ones who can have any chance to scathe your persona and who you are. Bystanders, acquaintances, strangers, and those who you do not associate with on a constant, you can choose to regard or disregard their word or opinion of you, but, it shouldn't impact you as the probability of it having any foundation of truth is slim to none. It really varies on the situation.
I realized today that I have gratitude for the few friends I have because it's like having another family. A different faction of family that isn't blood related and to whom you can express yourself freely. I wish I could the same with my own blood family, but, it isn't the same. I want to elaborate why it isn't the same, but, my explanation would render to non-comprehension of what I believe or think. All I know is that friends are important, yes, and as an introvert who is more based off observation and speaking when I only need to, I know that, but, to be careful with whom you open your Universe to. I used to believe in the principle of being an open book to anyone. Void that principle. I have an open mind who wants to intake what people have to say and I'll chose to voice my idea or thought on their context of what they just said. I like the notion of hearing out and giving a rational thought or opinion to what someone has to say depending on the context of the situation. I am an analyzer, I am a thinker, and, most of all, I am an introvert. My best form of expression is through writing. Emoting the words I have written is possible for me to replicate, but, it would be done on an improvised basis and that isn't bad I guess, unless, you don't make sense of what you're trying to flow from your mind through your mouth.
I'm thinking right now what was the catalyst that enabled me to write this with such ease. Music, my cognitive machine, me? What? Maybe I'm asking a question I know the answer to as I stated in the beginning that trance was doing this to me. I don't think music can just be the component to have enabled me to forge this piece of free flow. I love to think. More so, I love to wonder...
I wonder about my thoughts, my emotions, myself, the people I care about, the people who I used to like, the person that I will like in the future who will be significant to me in some way, but, will be key, yet, not crucial as I'm more of a lonely hunter that will stay perched on its hill until my death. Maybe I do like someone and I'm suppressing it. The hell if I know...
So, with that in mind, why did I mention all of the latter if I'm supposed to be calm and feeling bliss by this melodic trance I'm in? I am in a trance, flowing, liberated of any worries that I may have had of what people think of me. Those who are meaningful, genuine, have a sense of loyality to the concept of friendship, and various factors that attribute to the characteristic of truth, will have any impact of what they think of you. Friends, legitimate ones, and family are the only ones who can have any chance to scathe your persona and who you are. Bystanders, acquaintances, strangers, and those who you do not associate with on a constant, you can choose to regard or disregard their word or opinion of you, but, it shouldn't impact you as the probability of it having any foundation of truth is slim to none. It really varies on the situation.
I realized today that I have gratitude for the few friends I have because it's like having another family. A different faction of family that isn't blood related and to whom you can express yourself freely. I wish I could the same with my own blood family, but, it isn't the same. I want to elaborate why it isn't the same, but, my explanation would render to non-comprehension of what I believe or think. All I know is that friends are important, yes, and as an introvert who is more based off observation and speaking when I only need to, I know that, but, to be careful with whom you open your Universe to. I used to believe in the principle of being an open book to anyone. Void that principle. I have an open mind who wants to intake what people have to say and I'll chose to voice my idea or thought on their context of what they just said. I like the notion of hearing out and giving a rational thought or opinion to what someone has to say depending on the context of the situation. I am an analyzer, I am a thinker, and, most of all, I am an introvert. My best form of expression is through writing. Emoting the words I have written is possible for me to replicate, but, it would be done on an improvised basis and that isn't bad I guess, unless, you don't make sense of what you're trying to flow from your mind through your mouth.
I'm thinking right now what was the catalyst that enabled me to write this with such ease. Music, my cognitive machine, me? What? Maybe I'm asking a question I know the answer to as I stated in the beginning that trance was doing this to me. I don't think music can just be the component to have enabled me to forge this piece of free flow. I love to think. More so, I love to wonder...
I wonder about my thoughts, my emotions, myself, the people I care about, the people who I used to like, the person that I will like in the future who will be significant to me in some way, but, will be key, yet, not crucial as I'm more of a lonely hunter that will stay perched on its hill until my death. Maybe I do like someone and I'm suppressing it. The hell if I know...