Cowardly Cage

[nycdreams]

I have a hard time accepting myself

I struggle to find myself

I write down all my thoughts

Then I forget them

And just throw it all away

I am not good enough

So, therefore, my thinking

it is not good enough

I keep my true self locked somewhere

I used to know

Far, far away locked in a closet

That’s behind a secret, guarded wall

I only bring my true self out

When I meet someone new

Who doesn’t know my past

My self-loathing and anger

My fear of letting people in

Just to get hurt again

I shove myself back in a cage

When I get too close to people

Never to be seen again

No time for getting hurt

But after many weeks of thinking

And sitting in my bedroom

Watching time pass by

And driving in the car

I come to a conclusion

I am an absolute coward

Too damaged to accept love

I’m missing out on so

many things and people

Because I can’t accept myself

I don’t know if I ever will

But I hope to show

the real me one day

To break of out of my cage

and let life in

Because without fear

there is no hope

And without hope

there is no dreams.

I’m going to keep fearing

Keep hoping

Keep dreaming

To break out of this cowardly cage