plague of indifference

[acornishgamehen]

_an ailment too deeply rooted to bear any name, my heart's so truly strained
if only i knew the word that'd relay the feeling (though to me, empathy isnt worth but a haypenny)
i've given up on trying to make anyone see what it is that makes me meander through such desolate places
floating through voids dark as new moons hoping for hope to manifest within any of these expressionless passing faces so confined to torment
i'll drag the weight of these dreams so distant, through nothing into black until but a shimmer faintly glimmers to ignite me aflame
to instill me with courage, to carve out a niche to call home, as long as its my own

my own to call home.

this isn't a cry of hopelessness, but a plea for ambition
i don't know where to go, though i know i can't stay waiting for what is now an apparition

all i'm certain is the good fight is over
i am but a mercenary to what I hope might bring inspiration

i've grown not complacent but frigid from this disease i call indifference

all i want is to realise i actually give a care