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Liar
Mar 9, 2012 19:20:57 GMT -5
Post by drownmeout on Mar 9, 2012 19:20:57 GMT -5
moved your heart from place to place
stole my peace of mind
jacked my soul and gave it to the devil
Burn in hell they say
catch on fire and wither away
ash to ash
blow away
take whats left of me
and just go the f*** away!
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Liar
Apr 5, 2012 11:30:18 GMT -5
Post by drownmeout on Apr 5, 2012 11:30:18 GMT -5
opionions please and suggestions on how to improve!>.< thanks! and dont worry about hurting my feelings ima big girl :3
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TKei
been around the block
"Some wrongs we must hide, lest we expose our honour." Vauvenargues
Posts: 128
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Liar
Apr 17, 2012 6:06:38 GMT -5
Post by TKei on Apr 17, 2012 6:06:38 GMT -5
Poetry is something difficult to "improve" on. It has a lot to do with your frame of mind, and everyone has a different frame of mind. My only suggestions are that you may want to work on your grammar. The style you are writing in is one that often looks a bit sloppy without proper grammar. If you do prefer this style, I may also suggest you familiarize yourself with some common meters. Metrical poems are very pleasing to the ears.
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