I dont feel the same

[pieking83]

I’ve always wanted to be so much more to you
I yearn for your touch and feel
But can’t seem to find my way there
I want to be with you
We have had many moments together
Not all great
But when you suddenly said you love me
You just as quickly left me alone to torture myself
Soon after anxiety and depression found a way to effect my every thought
Wishing I were gone from this place
Wishing I had never been anything to you
Wishing I would just end
Thought of you began to enter my mind throughout the day
Thoughts that tortured my soul to the point of apathy
I feel guilty for you leaving for someone else
I feel I am the one who pushed you away
I feel lonely and dead inside
All my known energy seemed to have left my body
All I know is the pain of a lost loved one
All I know is you

[pieking83]

I want my suffering to end
I don’t care if death is the answer
This depression needs to end
The anxiety along with it
The paranoia as been going on too long
I’ve already resorted to dreams of my dying day
That is the only day I wish to suffer to atone for the wrong decisions I have made
I am no longer a happy person
As I once had been
I used to be afraid to think of dying
But not it seems to be a release from it all
I used to have fun most days
But now I have none
I used to talk a lot more
But now it’s as if I’m mute
Now the only way I can express how I feel is through sorrow filled poems
But I’m no poet
I feel my pain is my fault
I can’t suppress my feelings any longer
I need someone to talk to
Someone who can understand this pain inside
I have yet to find such a person
I’m am afraid I never will
I also feel no one cares enough to want to help me
I may need to work this out alone
I have noticed I’ve begin to hate myself for not having the answers
I can’t seem to find a successful way to cope with my problem
I also have gone into a rage while I trying to think about it
I have never been a person with anger problem
But I am becoming a bomb waiting for the right moment to explode
There is nothing out there to defuse my
But only spark the fuse

[freedomislogic]

Thanks for this. I've always been on the otherside of this relationship, and it helps to know what the other is feeling. Sad, but nice poem.