Post by Rainy on Jul 12, 2003 1:23:16 GMT -5
“Sid, The guys are outside waiting for us.” I said.
I had been waiting for this day my whole life. Well maybe not my whole life, but hey. I had dreamt of the moment we would all get to go together as one big happy family. We going together as friends. Yes friends. We didn’t have anyone we wanted to go with so we planed to go as friends. We had planed this since half way through our senior year. We had also all planed that we would have no tricks up any of our sleeve’s just for this one night. But Sid had a date. She broke the going together as friends thing. She was going with her all time favorite guy. Eric.
Eric was the guy she loved more then anyone. Every day and night she talked about him, And when he moved away he promised to come with her to her prom. And so he did come back for her at her prom.
In our lovely hundreds of dollar dresses we stepped out my house and went for the Limo and we had all chipped in for. The three guys look at us in wonder. Never had they saw us looking nice. We never really tried with our hair and crap. We were truly part of the guys. Okay maybe I lied. We cared about our hair. But never did we try and look so wonderful before this night.
There eyes shined with wows and there mouths almost dropped to the ground. After they decided to get it together we went on our way to the prom.
In the Limo, Eric couldn’t take his eyes off of Sid’s strapless dress. Everyone kept watching him to see what he would do. Never being so nice to anyone Justin said, “ Eric she’s pretty. You can look stop looking at her now, before I slap you across the face. Maybe then I can dunk you in ice cold water to wake you up. What you think?”
Eric just turned to stare at Justin. In his eyes it looked as if he hated him with no doubt.
We got out of the Limo and started to walk towards the building of where our prom music was blaring from. We got to the door and held out our tickets. We got in just in time to hear the next song began. We then went over and found a table for us all to sit at.
The guys all went over to the other side of the room to get us all some punch. That’s when it happened. That’s when our lives became destroyed. Not understanding still what happened. The police have been on it for weeks. But I guess it happened because I still remember it and it’s still something I can remember and almost taste. But it happened so fast and everyone was screaming. People laid dead on the ground. People I had known had died, People that were close to me had got hurt.
I remember seeing Josh walking towards us. I remember seeing Robert not to far behind him with Eric at his side.. But Justin I don’t never remember seeing until that one moment, I thought I would die.
First we heard a huge roar and then we saw the building where the guys were at explode. The side of the building was not standing no more. People were running out of the side closest to us. People all bloody from flying debris hitting them.
Liz was by my side trying to get to Josh, Robert and Eric. But still I could not see Justin. She was pulling my arm and running as fast as she could. I was watching all the people pouring out of the room. I watched and ran and tried to make out of the faces. We ran in a blur towards them. It seemed as if we were running forever before we got to them.
“Where’s Justin” Was the first thing I could even think to say. With a confused look Robert said, ”He was behind us I thought.”
Right then I was Justin laying on the ground, Not moving not even breathing to what I could see.
I ran over to him, with everyone following me through the maze of people. Screaming out to him, brushing against everyone and pushing at the same time. I run even faster. While watching him still not move.
Justin might not be my guy or the guy I like but in my heart I still care for him. I care for him as a friend, but in my heart there is and always will be a more.
We can hear the ambulances arriving, and the fire trucks rushing in. Police cars all around with there lights flashing in.
I remember us all leaning down by him and I remember the tears all forming and I remember everyone had tears falling. I remember then I saw his chest rise and fall. It was then my heart knew he was alive. I remember the EMS peoples coming over and taking him to the hospital. Most of all I remember the hospital.
We all went and jumped in Limo and headed straight for the hospital. We all waited for hours to get to see him. IN each hours someone would leave. Eric left first. He didn’t really know him or any of the rest of us. Then Robert was next to leave. Next was Sid. Sid never cared for him at all. She hated him more then anyone else, that I knew of anyways.
We finally got to go in and it was just me and Josh. We walked in slowly almost scared to see him. We both went to the farthest side of the bed towards the outer wall. We hadn't called his dad, we knew he wouldn’t wont him there. His father had been cruel to him and selfishly mean.
In almost a whisper Josh asked “How do you feel?” With pain on his face he answered back with almost a cry, “Like I’m dead. You should try it.”
We all looked at each other in caution. Josh and I looked down at Justin's playful words. We at least knew he was going to be okay. We sat by him for hours talking about what were going to do next. We talked about anything, everything to soothe his mind away from his pain.
Josh went home to his bed when I was sitting by Justin's bed there in the hospital. I was about to get up to leave myself when Justin stopped me. He asked of me in his nicest way. “Please stay here. At least until I fall asleep.” Justin was never nice to anyone. Not ever his best friends. But to me he always found the right words. He always was so nice to me it was scary. I never understood why he never played harmless tricks on me. He never spook cruel words to me. He was the nicest person I knew when no body was around.
I looked in his eyes the way a lover would. I knew that was a lot for him to say. I went back over to the chair and sat next to his bed. He looked at me his delight. The rolled his head over to sleep.
I watched him for a while as he fell into a deep sleep. He laid there as quiet as a mouse never moving and never seeming to breath. Before I left, I took his hand and raised it to my lips. I kissed the back of his hand as gently as I could. Lowered his hand back down to the way he had it. And walked away.
Walking through the hospital I knew that he was the only perfect guy that I knew. But I also knew that he would never know just how much I really loved him. A friend of mine he will always be. But my guy he will never be. I walked away that night. More sure that I could handle this love for him. It was always jumping me all a round. It made me to happy for words. But I knew then that I didn’t deserve him.
-Kim
(Jaysie that's my JRG)