Post by Devi145 on May 6, 2003 16:44:16 GMT -5
This is for my friend's mom, because i know how hard she's worked to keep my friend safe, even if it means creating boundaries and limits. I just wrote this from everything her moms came to me for help about, so if it doesnt make any sense its probably cuz my thoughts are jumbled.
I feel suddenly lonely, and full of despair. What if this doesnt work out? and what if god just decides not to be fair? Sitting here by the phone, worried and full of fear, what if when i pick it up all i hear is the tone? Things are getting farther and farther from becoming clear. The blood's rushing and bubbling, my hands are shakey and trembling, my heart is tripping and tumbling...What if things arent ok? I'm starting to find myself fumbling, and even worse...I'm mumbling. Do you hear the whispers that come from my mind? If you dont your just wasting the time, you know they are true and so do i. The what if's that cloud my thoughts, my plans my plots.....all erased by this horrific day, replaced by a worry that wanders like a lurking stray. How can you sit there and ponder, what wrong has happened, when a baby girl could be passing to the next world..or even over and yonder! I cant take the pain, I cant take this shit, became a mother but now im realizing it! She chose to make a choice, but now all i hear is her crying, shoutting out with her voice...Mom, help me! My baby girl so lost in her life, maybe it was my fault? but now i know and im here to guide her back from the world's strife.
I feel suddenly lonely, and full of despair. What if this doesnt work out? and what if god just decides not to be fair? Sitting here by the phone, worried and full of fear, what if when i pick it up all i hear is the tone? Things are getting farther and farther from becoming clear. The blood's rushing and bubbling, my hands are shakey and trembling, my heart is tripping and tumbling...What if things arent ok? I'm starting to find myself fumbling, and even worse...I'm mumbling. Do you hear the whispers that come from my mind? If you dont your just wasting the time, you know they are true and so do i. The what if's that cloud my thoughts, my plans my plots.....all erased by this horrific day, replaced by a worry that wanders like a lurking stray. How can you sit there and ponder, what wrong has happened, when a baby girl could be passing to the next world..or even over and yonder! I cant take the pain, I cant take this shit, became a mother but now im realizing it! She chose to make a choice, but now all i hear is her crying, shoutting out with her voice...Mom, help me! My baby girl so lost in her life, maybe it was my fault? but now i know and im here to guide her back from the world's strife.