First post. [ critique please ]

[cyanidegrenade]

She wears a smile
Puts on a mask
Just to see how long she'll last.

She's not okay!
Will she ever be?
She doesn't cry she doesn't weep
Just spends countless hours losing sleep

Leave her alone she can help herself
By placing all her feelings on a dirty shelf.
She's introverted.
Wants all her feelings to be deserted.

Keep your help she doesn't want it.
She knows she's not wanted.
So leave her to cry and bleed.
It doesn't matter she doesn't want your sympathy!

She likes being alone
No sins to atone
She's knows it's no help to pray.
She knows all too well she's not okay.

[osubassdude]

nice rymez! needs a kicker at the end. or needs to tell more of a story, or moral lesson ya know. instead of just ryhming feelings, which ur really good at btw ;D