Post by unburntflame on Jan 2, 2005 6:31:35 GMT -5
23 Nov 2004
Dear Diary
This is my first entry. I'm on the plane again. Seems like I've spent most of my life on a plane. Backwards and forwards, never in one place long enough to make a life, or even have friends. I dont know why I've never been able to stop, maybe one day I can. But it isnt this day. I've left the only male worth my time and love back home. Alone. Ok, so not so alone. He still has his family, and he sees mine too. But without me. Because I had to go and leave him...I'm scared. Its been so long since I've been without him. Its strange, him not being here.
This plane trip is taking so long. We're flying over cities I've seen a hundred and one times before...cities that still look the same after dark as they do during the day.
I dont feel sad, or upset at all. Just sort of...empty. Theres nothing there. No amount of bad airline food or endless movies will fill that space, only the time. Its really warm inside the plane, stuffy too. Outside, I'm told its -57°C. Its hard to believe. I'm told that we're 14869m above sea level as well...no wonder my ears are a bit funny.
Adam...why wouldn't you come with me? You could have, you know there was nothing stopping you. Only your damned properness, ... that frustrated me so much! Wouldn't even say goodbye because it would have "made me cry". Of course it would have! Thats what goodbyes are! Its showing that you care about people enough to BE upset!
Ah now that empty space is slowly being filled with tears...let myself drown in the sorrow...
Dear Diary
This is my first entry. I'm on the plane again. Seems like I've spent most of my life on a plane. Backwards and forwards, never in one place long enough to make a life, or even have friends. I dont know why I've never been able to stop, maybe one day I can. But it isnt this day. I've left the only male worth my time and love back home. Alone. Ok, so not so alone. He still has his family, and he sees mine too. But without me. Because I had to go and leave him...I'm scared. Its been so long since I've been without him. Its strange, him not being here.
This plane trip is taking so long. We're flying over cities I've seen a hundred and one times before...cities that still look the same after dark as they do during the day.
I dont feel sad, or upset at all. Just sort of...empty. Theres nothing there. No amount of bad airline food or endless movies will fill that space, only the time. Its really warm inside the plane, stuffy too. Outside, I'm told its -57°C. Its hard to believe. I'm told that we're 14869m above sea level as well...no wonder my ears are a bit funny.
Adam...why wouldn't you come with me? You could have, you know there was nothing stopping you. Only your damned properness, ... that frustrated me so much! Wouldn't even say goodbye because it would have "made me cry". Of course it would have! Thats what goodbyes are! Its showing that you care about people enough to BE upset!
Ah now that empty space is slowly being filled with tears...let myself drown in the sorrow...