Post by f***** on May 29, 2011 12:02:41 GMT -5
Still high from that last bowl
Smoked late last night
Woke up in a daze
Today would be the day
No more fat and ugly, I thought
Five days since my last satisfying meal
I walk downstairs, breakfast waiting on me
Willpower
Worthless will power
Lets me eat myself sick
Disgusted with my body
It only took minutes
Now revolted by my own reflection
Tell mom I'm going to go shower
Bent over the porcelain
My toothbrush makes it's way
to the back of my throat
Just a little damage control, that's all
But if someone were to hear,
What would they say to me
I can't do it
I'm scared
Curled up in the shower
Naked, clean water coming down on me
Still doesn't wash away the dirty things I've done
I couldn't do it
I'm not good enough
My want is overwhelming
I want my stomach to be flat again
I want to count my ribs
I want to be hungry
When you want something
It makes you do anything you can
Just to satisfy yourself
But you can't do anything
You're not good enough remember?
To suffer builds character
To suffer makes me good enough
Red runs down the shower drain
I've suffered
I'm better now
I get out
Still naked
I can see every bit of my body
Still disgusted with myself
I see how to make it better
I'm good enough now, to pick up my toothbrush
To bend over the porcelain
And make myself pretty again
Smoked late last night
Woke up in a daze
Today would be the day
No more fat and ugly, I thought
Five days since my last satisfying meal
I walk downstairs, breakfast waiting on me
Willpower
Worthless will power
Lets me eat myself sick
Disgusted with my body
It only took minutes
Now revolted by my own reflection
Tell mom I'm going to go shower
Bent over the porcelain
My toothbrush makes it's way
to the back of my throat
Just a little damage control, that's all
But if someone were to hear,
What would they say to me
I can't do it
I'm scared
Curled up in the shower
Naked, clean water coming down on me
Still doesn't wash away the dirty things I've done
I couldn't do it
I'm not good enough
My want is overwhelming
I want my stomach to be flat again
I want to count my ribs
I want to be hungry
When you want something
It makes you do anything you can
Just to satisfy yourself
But you can't do anything
You're not good enough remember?
To suffer builds character
To suffer makes me good enough
Red runs down the shower drain
I've suffered
I'm better now
I get out
Still naked
I can see every bit of my body
Still disgusted with myself
I see how to make it better
I'm good enough now, to pick up my toothbrush
To bend over the porcelain
And make myself pretty again