alone in a crowd

[winkster]

You see me on the outside
that is what you judge me on
this poem may sound like others
but it is not
I know that is what you see
that is what I have masked myself with
My friend can be counted by the hundreds
yet I can confide in only one
My family sucks
they love me
I know it
but they do not love each other
they fight and argue all the time
I avoid it
I hate it
yet in public we tease each other
we laugh together
we pretend everything is ok
I smile
you see
I hide
I cry
you never see
my pain comes from not the anger
but the loneliness
the one I confide in has their own
yet I love him all the same
I love another
he doesn't know I exist
I'm not a princess
I'm not emo
I'm not
I'm alone
afraid
lost
scared
yet what do I do?
I sit and type a poem that means nothing
it means I'm like everyone else
I avoid my problems
I hide them away
you know its true
I can't see past your mask, but I know it is there
many say they know
they don't
no one does
always the same
I was there
I can help
but you cant
you lie
you did something like this
you may have done the exact same thing 5 minutes ago
but that doesn't mean the same action will produce the same result
sure you think it will
but it wont
even if they go through it with you
at the end of the day
your the only one who can help you
maybe I sound harsh
but I am alone
with the people pushing into my life
I want to push some out
that didn't work
more cam seeing the room
will they suffocate me
am I worth the effort they put into me
can I just curl up and sleep?
in dreams I don't hurt
but I'm never alone
in life I hurt
still I am never alone
yet I feel lonely
alone in a crowd