wrote this in chem today. . . .

[RiotGirl]

Nameless face
cradling my life in my arms
The only one holding me now***
Singing under my last breath
Quiet, out of tune
No longer, the tune can I find
Demons and spectres
Consuming my mind
And what I once held dear
Drifted away in the sunset
Now, I've everything to fear
Strange portals
Open all around me
Each time I see the knife
But something tugs
That same face I see
Never finishing the deed
When I hear that soundless voice,
"Take heed"

***optional alternate line: Nobody's kidding now.

Which do you guys like better??

~rg

[RedRose]

that was really good, i like it the way it is.

(but don't take my advice do what You like)

[RiotGirl]

Lol thanks ;p. It's weird because I wrote it the first way, and then I read it and thought I wrote kidding instead of holding and I couldn't decide if I liked that better or now. Or maybe I should just try not to slur my words together when I write .
;D

~rg

[Elisha]

if you have to slur your words together to make the poem good, then thats what you have to do theres no use in arguing. you write that way because that's the way the emotions come out in your mind and it's beautiful. i think the poem is good either way. the point is that it is good.