Reality Bytes
been around the block
I spend too much time on my computer...
Posts: 118
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I am
Sept 19, 2004 22:41:57 GMT -5
Post by Reality Bytes on Sept 19, 2004 22:41:57 GMT -5
I am washed
Washed in the blood of nations
I am cleansed
Cleansed of all good relations
I am pure
Pure unbridled hate
I am sure
Sure of my sorrid fate
I am lost
Lot to all good
I am frost
Frost to all good
I am blood
Blood kin of death
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I am
Sept 20, 2004 13:04:33 GMT -5
Post by Jaysie on Sept 20, 2004 13:04:33 GMT -5
* i think "lot" should be "lost"
/shrug
i enjoyed the flow of this one. it moved along quickly!
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_leash_
not so new anymore
shattered ocean
Posts: 78
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I am
Sept 24, 2004 13:42:20 GMT -5
Post by _leash_ on Sept 24, 2004 13:42:20 GMT -5
i like the structure/form of this one.. it worked well.
there were two lines which i thought were unneeded: but, thats just one persons opinion..
i especially liked:
well done. i enjoyed it much. 
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I am
Sept 27, 2004 7:13:54 GMT -5
Post by Insomnia on Sept 27, 2004 7:13:54 GMT -5
OMG!!! I TOTALLY loved this poem. Every line is where it's supposed to be, no question. I have to stress that you are one of my favourite poets on the site....keep writing!
*Insomnia
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I am
Sept 28, 2004 0:45:56 GMT -5
Post by aj on Sept 28, 2004 0:45:56 GMT -5
Good work, Reality. Keep it up. -AJ  |
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I am
Jan 31, 2005 13:08:38 GMT -5
Post by XgothicprettygirlX on Jan 31, 2005 13:08:38 GMT -5
i really liked this poem and it was really good... you can write but there was only one part i didnt much care for instead of being
I am lost
Lot to all good
I am frost
Frost to all good
i would have put something like...
I am lost
Lot to all good
I am frost
Frost to all who could
but hey thats just me i really enjoyed it! keep writing!!
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Reality Bytes
been around the block
I spend too much time on my computer...
Posts: 118
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I am
Sept 30, 2005 21:53:27 GMT -5
Post by Reality Bytes on Sept 30, 2005 21:53:27 GMT -5
thx. been gone or a while but oh well.
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